Conversation
by WeWillEatSandwiches
Summary: Personally I am loving the Calzona story line this season. This is my idea of a conversation that could have been a breakthrough for them.


"I'm sorry" Callie was stood at the bedroom door looking at her wife who was sat on the side of the bed. Arizona didn't look up; she just stared down to where her leg used to be. Callie continued

"I'm not sorry for the decision I made. It was your leg or your life and I made the choice in a heartbeat and frankly I would do it again." She knew what she was saying could hurt Arizona but she had to be honest and it was entirely possible she would just ignore what Callie was saying as she often did.

"I know that right now you can't see this but you can get another leg. It won't be the same and it will be a prosthetic but you will get one." Callie walked into the room and also sat on the side of the bed, leaving a distance between them trying not to make Arizona uncomfortable.

"I can't get another you! I can't live without you." Her voice softened.

"You changed my life when you kissed me in that bathroom and changed me because you believed in me. We survived break ups about kids and Africa and a shooting and a car crash and…" There was silence for a while until Callie wiped a tear that she felt on her cheek and turned to her wife. She couldn't see her face, just blond hair, but when she closed her eyes Callie could see Arizona's sparkling blue ones. Finally she finished her sentence

"…and you survived a plane crash. So don't ask me to apologise for choosing your life. I am sorry that I had to though, that we were in that situation. I'm sorry the plane crashed. Most of all I am sorry that I made you a promise that I knew I couldn't keep. Promising to save your leg when I knew it was almost impossible but I was falling apart. I was trying to stay together for you and for Mark and Sofia. You were hysterical and terrified and I wanted so badly for it to be ok so I promised and I shouldn't have. When I did though you came back" She couldn't help the small smile as she remembered the conversation with Arizona where she told Callie that she was outstanding. It was the last time she heard her wife tell her she loved her. After a second she was sad again.

"You believed in me and I let you down." Callie put her head in her hands and sobbed.

"Don't" Callie snapped her head up when Arizona, who had now lifted her head up to look at Callie, spoke.

"It wasn't your fault, none of it was. The only reason I was on that plane was because of my stubbornness and anger and if it hadn't been me then it would have been Alex." Arizona looked away slightly shameful for what she had said to Alex after the crash.

"Don't apologise for stuff you can't apologise for. And I'm sorry for making you feel guilty for deciding to cut off my leg. You are right you shouldn't be sorry for that because…" She looked up again at Callie who had slowly edged closer to her

"I think I would have done the same if the roles were reversed. I can't live without you either." At this Callie moved her hand to grasp Arizona's which was in her lap but Arizona moved away slightly.

"It's okay." Callie tried to reassure her.

"It's not though. I'm just dependent and ugly and a monster!" Arizona cried out in anger.

"No, Arizona. Something monstrous happened to you but you are still the women I fell in love with."

"I don't feel like that though."

"I do. You are still the women who kissed me at Joe's. You are still Sofia's mamma. You are grieving and angry and acting out now because you are processing all of it. All of the things that you went through and are still going through that I can't truly understand. " Callie took a deep breath and tried once more to hold Arizona's hand and found this time she could.

"Arizona you are not ugly"

"Look at me"

"I am"

"Look at this!" Arizona screamed pointing at her stump.

"It doesn't change the way I see you, you are still the most beautiful human being I have ever known. Your blue eyes that look straight through me and your dimples that show nothing but joy. They are still there even now when you don't look at me or you don't feel joy. And you still have the same heart, the same loving, caring heart, I know it! Even if you don't feel it. Those are what make you beautiful Arizona and they are gonna come back, I know that to, then you will be even more beautiful." Arizona had tears streaming than her face but she seemed more concerned with Callie's as she slowly wiped away a tear from her cheek. Callie turned her head to lean into the palm of Arizona's hand. It was the first contact that made Callie feel like she was with her wife.

"You can be dependent Arizona for as long as you need until we get you back. Remember whatever you can't do I will because I'm here and that is how this works. That is a promise I made because I knew it was true and it still is. Tell me you believe me," Callie pleaded.

"I believe you," For the first time in forever Arizona smiled. It was brief and fleeting though as she closed her eyes to hold back another wave of tears,

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"No it isn't. I have treated you like crap."

"It's okay," Callie repeated.

" No, you lost Mark and Sofia lost her Dad and it must feel like you lost me to. So I am sorry and I don't expect you to.."

"I get it and it is ok, ok? You are right it did feel like I lost my wife but right now I can see you. So we are gonna get through this, yeah?"

Arizona just nodded.

"So we are gonna go to physical therapy and trauma counselling and whatever else we need to help you. Agreed?"

Arizona nodded again and then opened her mouth as if to ask something but she hesitated. Callie squeezed her hand in encouragement. "Do you still love me Calliope?"

"Yes!" Callie was stunned by the question "Of course I still love you, I will never stop."


End file.
